There must be a conspiracy like the one in the title of this blog. I fought for 39 years against it but in a week moment of my life my hardened heart was unprotected for a few seconds. It must have been at that time God planted his latest service pack of his core code in my heart; The code of Love. Since then I have been less self-centred, more humble. less vain, less arrogant and less proud.
I have become a softer person, some of my old friends may say I have become a wimp.
Anyhow, I must admit my new life is a more exciting life then my previous. The possibility that God has a big plan for mankind and a small plan for me, tickles my fantasies. Before this happened I looked for the answers in logic thinking and rational reasoning and I was good at that. Now I have to be more creative and innovative and also listen to my spirit, my heart and my gut-feelings when I analyse what is going on around me and inside me. I also have to listen carefully to God.
I was raised to become a strong individual and an independent person. It worked until I was 39 but then it all collapsed. Marrying the wrong woman took me to a stage of confusion and depression but that was not what cracked my thick skin. It was pride that became my Achilles heel. I couldn’t take that I had failed with my marriage. A marriage I had been struggling with for more than 10 years. I am a stubborn personality and I refused to fail. Realising I had failed and failed with big F paralysed me, made me loose control and made me drop my guard for a few seconds and Oops…. the latest service pack was installed in an instant.
Now I have become part of Gods conspiracy. Everyday I challenge myself with questions like: How do I fit into Gods big plan?
What is Gods small plan for me?
What does God expect from me?
All that happened today; how did it or did it not fit into Gods plan?
Do I act according to Gods plan or am I acting according to my own plan?
What am I doing with my life? Is this what God planned for me?
This is what this Blog is all about, trying to answer these questions. My own daily challenge.
